Nay_ho_tze's Medicine Musings

cape cod sunset

Cracks in the Universe

or, what to do when the world ends

most everyone has a personal day of infamy – mine is april second
april second nineteen hundred seventy four, to be exact –  
around sunset, if you need a time

grey Cape Cod clouds shrouded the sky that day – all day -
we’d just moved into the new apartment nestled in the peninsula’s elbow –
when i'd first told him about what i found for us,
i couldn’t contain my excitement that they were brand new –
later when we saw the apartment together,
i remember he laughed and looked at me funny –
what’s wrong? i asked
nothing, he said, grinning -- it’s just that, well, i built these apartments

he was a carpenter by trade - i loved that he built what we lived in -
he loved that i'd fallen in love with one of his –
just a couple weeks ago, amidst our birthdays, we'd moved in 

that day, that april second, walking into town for supplies, i watched the sky,
willing it not to rain until after i'd returned home –
i needed to get his favourite dish, garlic beets, into the fridge –
i knew he wasn’t due home until Friday but with this dish,
longer marination meant better-taste to his discerning palate 

heading back i continued to scan the sky’s dark ash clouds for signs of rain –
but none came -  the clouds just hung heavy with threat ...

with the beets finally in the fridge,  i turned my attention to my latest creative foray,
weaving thread on nails in a 3D colour dance called mandala 

at that time most people had neither heard of nor seen a mandala
still everyone responded on a primal level to what i was doing,
instinctively responding to its geometry which beckoned the ALL of sacred geometry …
as to the word itself, mandala, no-one had ever heard it before …
so i had to explain it to everyone, even patrons of my work


an NHT original - thread mandala


i tapped a final nail into place, then lay the hammer down. his hammer,
with its splotch of white paint on the black handle -
i looked out at the sky my attention caught by the light of a slash wound along the horizon
which smeared muted corals and pale reds
 into the overhead gunmetal gloominess.

a few minutes is all it took for the odd colour play to darken and disappear altogether into dusk -
i took it as a sign to break for the night.


i had not yet met the teachers of different cultures walking different paths
who would speak to me of sunrise and sunset in ways i hadn't before considered them,
most notably as the day’s two marked breaks, or ‘cracks in the Universe’
cracks recognized by medicine walkers as the best times 
to travel in journey for healing,  for knowledge, for manifestation …

but i didn't know any of that then ...
instead, that night, that april second so very long ago,
i was learning that sunset can also be a good time to die --
for in that very moment on that very night, eternity reached right through that sky gash
to steal my heart's light from a small private aircraft that slammed into an icy April Atlantic

after all these years, april second still remains one of those tough days to get through

--NHT
©2015, 2017


related reading: "Stranger on a Greyhound"
                       "the birthday"  
                       "Faces"


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