Nay_ho_tze's Medicine Musings

Cracks in the Universe
                  ...or, what to do when the world ends

cape cod sunset

most everyone has a personal day of infamy – mine is april second

april second nineteen hundred seventy four, to be exact –  

around sunset, if you need a time

i had just turned 21

grey Cape Cod clouds shrouded the sky that day – all day -

we’d just moved into the new apartment nestled in the peninsula’s elbow –

when i first told him about what i'd found for us,

i couldn’t contain my excitement that they were brand new –

later when we saw the apartment together, as we drove up,

i remember he laughed and looked at me funny –

what’s wrong? i asked

nothing, he said, grinning -- it’s just that, well, i built these apartments

he was a carpenter by trade, and i loved that his hands had built what we lived in -

he loved that i'd fallen in love with one of his –

just a couple weeks ago, amidst our birthdays, we'd moved in 

that day, that april second, walking into town for supplies, i watched the sky,

willing it not to rain until after i'd returned home –

i needed beets to make his favourite dish, garlic beets,

and while he wasn’t due home until Friday, with this dish,

longer marination meant better-taste to his discerning palate 

heading back with the beets and miscellaneous,

i continued to scan the sky’s dark ash clouds for signs of rain, but none came -  

the clouds just hung heavy with threat ...

after chores,  i turned my attention to my latest creative foray,

weaving thread (not 'string') on nails into a 3D colour dance called mandala 

at that time most westerners had neither heard of nor seen a mandala

regardless all responded on a primal level to what i was doing,

instinctively and subconsciously responding to its inherent sacred geometry

even the word, mandala, no-one had ever heard before …

i found myself explaining it to everyone who saw what i was doing 

an NHT original - thread mandala

i tapped a final nail into place and put the hammer down. his hammer, 

with its splotch of white paint on the black handle -

i looked out at the sky my attention caught by the light of a slash wound along the horizon 

which smeared muted corals and pale reds into the overhead gunmetal gloominess...

a few minutes is all it took for the odd colour play to darken and disappear altogether into dusk -

i took it as a sign to break for the night.

i had not yet met the teachers of different cultures walking different paths

who would speak to me of sunrise and sunset in ways i hadn't before considered them, 

most notably as the day’s two marked breaks, or ‘cracks in the Universe’

cracks recognized by medicine walkers as the best times 

to travel in journey for healing,  for knowledge, for manifestation …

but i didn't know any of that then ...

instead, that night, that april second so very long ago,

i was learning that sunset can also be a good time to die --

for in that very moment on that very night, eternity reached right through that sky gash

and stole my heart's light from a small private aircraft that slammed into an icy April Atlantic.

after all these years, april 2nd still remains one of those tougher days to get through

©2015, 2017, 2018


related reading: "Stranger on a Greyhound"
                          "the birthday"  


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