Nay_ho_tze's Medicine Musings

good friday dimension shift
or, when Good Friday, the Feast of the Annunciation, and your birthday are all on the same day

my advice?  be careful what you wish for –
for my birthday the others wanted to ‘go out’ and were a bit peeved when i wasn’t interested …
i don’t know why - they all know what feeds my recluse penchant …  
and that going out would definitely not interest this birthday girl  …
but that's when i realized: my birthday wasn’t about me at all -
it was about them
and that it was friday
and i don't mean good friday ...

i hung back as their conversation meandered into ‘sending out then’ for ‘the meal’

 … god forbid pre-thought should actually go into my birthday ...
rather, it's always an afterthought, an annoyance,
the virtual repeat of last year's birthday, 
the obligatory, gets me off the hook, dozen red roses from the supermarket...

yes, yes, i know ‘everyone else works’ unlike me 
who gets to spend my  days watching soaps and eating bonbons –
that is, when i’m not cooking for them, 
doing their laundry, 
cleaning their toilets, 
mopping their floors, 
cleaning up their cat vomit … 
 blah, blah, blah … don’t get me started

let's go back to the celebration, and i use that term loosely …  

ever being the congenial one that no-one notices, 
i suggested ordering  at the restaurant
and then they could have a  drink or two while they waited –

they liked this idea – 
my youngest said something about a ’20 minute wait’ –
and off they went, with me thinking i’ve got an hour or so to kill …
that’s cool …
yeah, well, two and a half hours later, at 9:30, they return with dinner –
all of them stinking sloshing drunk and the SO still drinking from an expensive gift 
presented to him by his youngest of some ‘meteorite filtered’ liquor 
whose alien shaped bottle had caught his eye ...…

while getting drunk is in and of itself unusual for this family,
it does beg the question:
is it selfish to see irony here?

by now a mere shadow on the wall
wishing i could just retreat and disappear altogether,
but instead graciousness prevailed and i remained 
to enjoy a less than appealing wheat-free meal, 
(alcoholic stupor cleared later: oh yeah, this sauce was s'posed to go  on it hahaha).

Even the much-anticipated wheat free cupcake/blow out the candle shtick was torturous -

overall the entire event was an eye-opening exercise 
in being very much out of place in my own life …
talk about a good friday dimension shift …
wow …

ladies and gents, this one stung … 


related reading:  Natal Returns
Meditation on Good Friday
                        Good Friday on the Feast of the Annunciation