Nay_ho_tze's Medicine Musings

 in memoriam ...

in my 40s i found myself appeasing my children who wanted a dog, our first ...
they decided on a female; 
we brought home a brother and a sister - my fault.   

As i sat on the floor playing with the litter,  a white and grey pup - 
the runt, i was told - 
quietly climbed up into my lap and settled down.
After a while he rested his chin upon my flat-chested bosom
and as those liquid brown eyes made direct contact with my own, 
i clearly heard him say, “you know i’m yours…”

And that’s how we brought home two puppies, photo on left – 
i mean, surely, we couldn’t leave the runt,
and since we’d put a request out into the Universe  for a female,
it seemed only honourable to take his sister home as well  

This runt puppy whom we named Gabriel (Bri, for short)
was the most laid back being i had ever met 

He had myriad endearing idiosyncrasies,
like preferring fresh vegetables and fruit to meat, 
by consistently choosing halved grapes over chicken chunks 
which inspired much family discussion about Buddhists and Buddhism  
(Lhasa Apso origins)

And we named his sister Gabriella (Gabi, for short) -
she was both protectively devoted to her little brother
while also being his antithesis to draw him out of his shyness - 
where he was withdrawn and watchful, her demeanour was such that
you could almost hear her saying, “c’mon, it’ll be fun!”
she was his sternest teacher yet his most loving companion –

She kept her soft side mostly underwraps, though,
 except at the end of every walk,
 she would take his leash in her teeth
and lead him the last bit of the way into the house,
as if she needed to make sure he wouldn’t get lost.

 Well, her exuberance cost her her life – a huge truck – a horrible accident 
 and that night as i went from each family member, trying to console,
going through the motions, feeling totally disconnected,
i was in that shaman spot that i don't usually recognize until in hindsight -
suddenly from nowhere i heard Gabi say, 
“this was a true accident, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this –
i am coming back to you - watch for me”

in my state of shock disbelieving more than believing,
i nevertheless related what i'd been shown and the message to the family,
if only in hoping that delivery might offer consolation, however transient ... 
the message was forgotten over the following days and weeks of healing --

after few months passed in the way of internet pixies,
when one of the children was online,
a Craigslist puppy image suddenly became the focal of life,
and thus began the next chapter of the same story...

This Craigslist pup, the last of a papered Lhasa Apso litter,
had fallen seriously ill at birth and treatment cost her her hair -
after spending the first months in a veterinary hospital,
she was a hard sell as a bald Lhasa Apso -
the breeder took her home and finally
 the famous Lhasa coat began to grow back a couple months later,
when the Universe posted the Craig's list picture...

the children were anxious to make an appointment and the out-of-state trip -
and of course it was a given that Bri would come with us - 
after all his was final say …

as we approached the porch of the breeder's home,
 manaical puppy yelps filled the air,
over which a voice inside spoke to us --
“Just a moment, please -   you’d think i’m killing her -
all i'm doing is clipping her nails – (pause)
i need to warn you, she doesn’t like strangers – 
i didn’t tell you that over the phone - i was afraid you wouldn’t come." 

we looked from one to another, all thinking the same thing - oh great!
the disembodied voice spoke again: "okay, you can come in now.”
He went on to say, he'd been surprised how quickly we'd responded to his ad,
which apparently had been posted 'only 15 mins earlier'

As we entered the room, Bri walked in under his own steam and,
unaffected by the ferocious barking of the restrained puppy,
he sat by my feet, loosely leashed, only vaguely curious by the ruckus  

The source of the noise was a fierce white creature 
with random patches of hair growth
spurting from her eyebrows and her ear tips,
the only long hair anywhere on her body -
she looked like something between a grounded bird of prey 
and an over-grown albino squirrel – barking

Unpredictable and energized, she fought and won freedom from the breeder -
...to tear us to pieces or what? i got ready to swipe Bri up into my arms. 
But the little white naked puppy didn't charge Bri, or any of us.
Instead, she went around, sniffing long and hard,
tail wagging furiously at each one of the 5 of us

and when at last she came to Bri,
she simply ... and stunningly ... took his leash in her teeth
and headed toward the door!!
 Bri's reaction was well, Bri ...
he followed her lead indifferently as if to ask, "Where've you been?"

Now i confess to being a bona fide reincarnationist, 
having experienced past life memories from an early age -
yet even still i am always flabbergasted at such undeniable evidence:  
this new pup was indeed, to all of us and as promised, her predecessor incarnate …
i was so glad everyone else had seen her take his leash in her teeth,
for it would've been an impossibly unbelievable story without witnesses.


....dog? what dog? (look closely to see Lili) 

We named her Lillian Gabriella (Lili for short) -
Gabriella explains itself...
and Lillian because as a pup she was a purest white 
which turned the lightest of honey as she got older ...
we figure she returned to us so quickly that she forgot to pick a colour …
her papers show that she was born only 2 weeks after the accident …

AISI, Lili's not liking strangers was her way of ensuring
that she ended up with the right people -
and her illness beginning this life was Spirit's way of allowing us time
for the necessary mourning of her predecessor --
additionally Lili seemed to have memory of her predecessor's crossing -
as we drove her home with her that day, she sat in my lap, 
and i noticed immediately that she visibly cringed and ducked
when large trucks approached then passed by ...
curiously this was a lifelong reaction for her

Additionally, in the accident Gabi's back legs had been injured,
the memory of which apparently manifested as extreme sensitivity in Lili's hind legs - 
hit a tangle brushing the hair on her back legs,
and she was quick to bite, not to break skin but to seriously warn ... 
or from time to time when she was tired or playing too hard,
a hind leg would unexpectedly buckle 

as for how her Craigslist puppy picture inexplicably showed up,  
i do not know.
What i do know is that it is exactly as the Hopi instruct, 
that “we are the ones we’re waiting for” -
or equally poignant:  we are our children’s children’s children …

Think on these things the next time someone speaks about
"leaving Mother Earth to our children" because in truth
we leave Mother Earth to ourselves.

... Reincarnation puts a whole new spin on everything,
doesn't it?

--NHT

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